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Copy & paste this:
Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage?
Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your brother came out of the closet. And Mom was complaining that now she'll never have grandkids.
Me: So I was born for the sole purpose of replacing my brother?
Dad: Exactly.(He was dead serious)
Dad: Son, you think like me. Sometimes you think too much, sometimes you think too little, and then everybody dies in the middle.